Sorry, But You’re Not Invited

Empty Wedding Chairs

What do you think about the wedding non-invite?

Seriously?  Well, I guess it makes sense, but still . . .

The latest wedding trend is about as controversial as can be.  Couples who cannot afford a big wedding have to cut down the size of their guest list.  But what do you do if you have 1000+ facebook friends, and they all know you just got engaged?

The answer?  The “Non-Invite”.

According to The Look on Today, some couples are sending out “You’re not invited” alerts to their B-list friends.  Some folks handle it through email.  Others use snail mail.  Still others have their wedding planner make the phone calls for them.

And the response? Anger. Disappointment. Resentment.

It’s a necessary evil.   You simply cannot include everyone on the guest list.  But is the “non-invite” the answer? What would Emily Post say?

Some folks call this trend rude, cruel, unnecessary, even narcissistic.

One anonymous New Jersey bride actually told her less-than-closest friends that they were on a waiting list, and should a space open up, they would get an invitation.  When space did open up and invites were sent to these people, they actually accepted, gladly.  But there was still resentment.

The trend makes sense . . . I suppose . . . but surely there must be a better way to handle the situation.  Why not have a simple cake and punch reception instead of a full four-course meal?  That way there’s more room in the budget to invite more people.  Or maybe the bride and groom could be more discreet with their happy news.  They could share their joy on facebook and twitter, but keep the details like date, time, and location to themselves.

It’s a sticky situation, that’s for sure.  What do you think?  Are the non-invites a good idea?  Is there a better way to handle it?  We would love to hear your ideas on the subject.


Photo courtesy of grenade.

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