Wedding Budget

Mother of the Bride Co-Hosting the Shower

Mother of the Bride

Can the mother of the bride co-host the bridal shower?
(Photo Credit: ceng design on flickr)

Weddings are by nature, rich with tradition and strict rules of etiquette which can really be  confusing. To help you get everything just right check out the “Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette” written By Sharon Naylor. Naylor says that wedding etiquette rules are passed from generation to generation but over the years many things have changed.

For example the bridal shower, it is now acceptable for the mother of the bride to co-host the event with the bridesmaids. Other once strict rules of wedding etiquette have changed as well. Here’s a slideshow from the Huffington Post for nine more wedding rules you can break.

Mother of the Bride Co-Hosting the Shower

Etiquette rules used to dictate that a bride’s immediate family, particularly her mother, couldn’t throw her bridal shower. “It was taboo because it was thought as being self-serving or raking in the gifts, but that’s changed immensely,” Post says. In fact, as more couples plan their own weddings, brides’ mothers tend to feel left out as far as orchestrating the festivities goes, Naylor explains. Because of this, she says it is more than acceptable for a mother to “join in with the bridesmaids to co-host the shower, which skirts the etiquette ‘don’t.'” She adds that having mom’s help can also ease the strain on bridesmaids who might be overwhelmed by the money they’re spending on dresses, travel and other pre-wedding costs.

Paying for a wedding is simply something many couples and their families have not been able to prepare for, and expenses really add up fast. Rules have definitely modernized in this area as well. Sharing the cost of the blessed event with both the bride and grooms families and often with contributions by the bride and groom is very common today.   Here is what Sharon Naylor had to say about who pays for what.

With more couples marrying later in life when they’re financially established, the rules concerning who pays for their weddings have changed. “Now, couples paying for most or all of their weddings is more the norm than brides’ families paying,” says Peggy Post. Even when parents are writing the checks, they no longer have to follow strict guidelines about which family handles what (i.e., the bride’s pays for the reception and the groom’s pays for the alcohol). Instead, couples who accept their parents’ financial help should decide “what items are their highest priority, as in the things they want to pay for and have more control over, and the items that are less important, that they would be okay with parents paying for and controlling,” saysSharon Naylor, best-selling author of The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette.

Even if discussions about money become touchy, everyone should try to be reasonable and demonstrate that they are willing to compromise. Remember, there is always a solution to every problem.


Note:  You can find Sharon Naylor’s book, The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette, at

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